i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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