I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
