Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
