Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
