She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
