Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
This is my gift to your gina
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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