do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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