Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
