so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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