is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
