then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
