I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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