You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
