I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
