Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I want a musical about memes.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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