I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
