Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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