I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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