I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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