i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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