So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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