fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
