I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
