I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We need a shit load of segways right now
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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