Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
