If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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