Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
This is my gift to your gina
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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