Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
