hotel room ftw
so let's talk penis.
is wine microwaveable?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Randomize
