I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
