Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize