me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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