so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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