i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
