you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
