My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
