How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
