this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
