Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
