My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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