I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Farmville is her only friend.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
