dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
