Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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