I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
