kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
