Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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