I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
