Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
