I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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