i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
